The Conspiracy Theorist's Dictionary

Submitted by SadInAmerica on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:30pm.



They're everywhere. You hear them on the news, see them on the sidewalks, read their blogs, and your kids may in fact go to school with their kids. These neurotic individuals who deviate from the mainstream and preach a more sinister sermon of global politics and diabolical cover-ups. I'm referring to "conspiracy theorists." A class of creature you're now better off assimilating with than fighting. ~ Videos

In recent years their numbers have grown into the millions and it's about time we crushed the language barrier. In order to peacefully live with and do business with these lunatics we've compiled a complete list of vocabulary words that conspiracy junkies use on a daily basis which a normal citizen may understand in a totally different way!

These words were defined through vigorous research and one on one interviews with the top conspiracy brass. Enjoy!

**Warning to shadow government**: The definitions of these words DO NOT represent the opinions of ITHP but are defined by how "conspiracy theorists" view each word. This list is intended for entertainment purposes only. **

9/11: A false flag attack orchestrated by shadowy elements of the world government in order to drastically alter the human psyche, pass Draconian laws with political ease, justify perpetual warfare, upgrade the military, influence world economic factors, and complete the systematic obliteration of the Muslim people.

2012: The year the Mayans predicted the world to end and possibly the Bible as well. World could go out via a Revelationesque scenario, solar storm, all out nuclear warfare, massive alien invasion, asteroid, polar shift, or a yet to be known scenario.

1984: The most important contribution to literature in the last century. The classic novel authored by George Orwell in 1949 predicting the coming of a totalitarian government that is eerily similar to the present day power structure. The largest conspiracy forum on the web which utilizes such great technology that you almost wonder if it was created in a CIA basement.

AIDS: A man made disease engineered to limit population growth in Africa.

Alex Jones: An amateur documentary director, founder of InfoWars and the Godfather of the modern day conspiracy movement.

Anonymous: An extremely mysterious group of hackers under no centralized supervision (excluding the illuminati) who take down major websites that support the illuminati.

Anthrax: A highly lethal white substance found in well fortified U.S bio labs and used primarily to scare government enemies into submission and trick people into bombing oil rich countries.

Aspartame: A highly controversial sweetener increasingly added in the U.S food supply which causes various health problems.

The Bailout: The merciless raping of U.S taxpayers by big banks.

Barack Obama: A Kenyan native who was installed into power to convert the United States into a Socialistic prison.

Black Helicopters: United Nations aerial vehicles that patrol the skies often in training exercises for a future hostile takeover. An independent news site that publishes controversial news stories from around the net and original articles.

Big Brother: The massive oppressive world government that constantly monitors and attempts to influence our every move.

Big Sis: Slang term coined by Matt Drudge in refrence to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napoliano. Ms. Napoliano is considered to be a puppet for the man. 

The Bilderberg Group: A highly secretive invitation only meeting of influential western powerhouses once every year.

Bill Gates: A globalist that has been accused of supporting depopulation tactics in Africa under the guise of aids.

Bill Hicks: Underground comedian who strongly spoke out against the elites and puppet people.

Bird Flu: A false flag attack in order to cause mass hysteria and make a large profit for big pharma via vaccination.

Building 7: The smoking gun of 9/11. A 47 story building that was demolished via thermite on 9/11 at  5:20:33 pm minutes after the BBC already said it had collapsed when in fact it was perfectly in tact behind the reporter.

Chemtrail: Clouds left behind high flying jets that look similar to contrails but later expand leaving dangerous biological particles that may be used to depopulate the world or geo-engineer the climate. These so-called 'particles' include aluminum and barium which have harmful effects on humans.

The Constitution: The supreme law of the land and the greatest document since the Bible. This document is constantly under attack by the Shadow Government and corporate whores of the apocalypse.

Conspiracy Theorist: An extremely derogatory term hatched by the MSM to classify intelligent individuals who disagree with corporate and government versions of historical events and policy such as 9/11 and the Patriot Act.

Corporate Shill: "Another whore in the capitalist gang bang." Someone who sells their soul to a massive corporation through posing as a normal citizen but in reality is a shill attempting to secretly sell you on something.


Council on Foreign Relations (CFR): An elite American think tank comprised of high ranking corporate, media, and governmental members whose agenda is a world government via global domination.

Counter Intelligence Program (COINTELPRO): Highly secretive and illegal projects conducted by the FBI in order to infiltrate and discredit domestic political organizations.

Dick Cheney: Chairman and CEO of Halliburton and Vice President under George W. Bush. Suspected of involvement in the 9/11 attacks.

Disinformation: False information that is released to the public in order to mislead people into believing things that are not true.

Elite: Anyone that holds a very high ranking position at a powerful corporation or within the government.

Facebook: A company funded by CIA/NSA connected firms in order to gather free intelligence on citizens.

False Flag: An attack orchestrated by a group of elites and blamed on their enemies in order to garner support from the people to wage a unjustified war.

Federal Reserve: The central bank of the United States that prints worthless money with the end game of enslaving the entire country.

 Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA): A hated agency which merged with the loathed Department of Homeland security. FEMA is responsible for setting up secret prisons around the country called FEMA Camps in the case Martial Law is ever declared.

Flouride: Added to the U.S water suppoly as hydrofluosilicic acid, silicofluoride or sodium fluoride in order to dumb down the population and poison people with cancers.

The Founding Fathers: The only truly pure human inhabitants in American history. Freedom worshipping Gods who created America with the firey desire to create a free utopia were man was created equal.

Fox News: A powerful Zionist run media network controlled by News Corporation that is notorious for spreading propaganda. However Fox can often be used as a credible source to quote in certain cases.

Free energy: The theory that we don't need oil or gas because of advanced technologies but special interest groups suppress this information.

Freemason: A person who is involved in a highly secretive illuminati worshiping society where high ranking members control the world.

Geo-engineering: An insanely risky plan hatched by egomaniacal globalists and scientists to artificially modify our earths climate system in orders to reverse the effects of global warming or possibly to weaponize the weather.

George Walker Bush: An unintelligent puppet installed in power through his father's political ties after stealing an election from Al Gore.

George Carlin: A hero comedian who fought against the New World Order and never conformed with the Sheeple.

George Soros: A corrupt globalists who amassed billions of dollars off toppling countries' currencies.

The Greys: Extraterrestrial beings named for their skin tone.

Gang Stalking: Intense psychological warfare against an individual who is followed and harassed by a gang of mysterious people. Not to be confused with schizophrenia.

Globalists: Men or woman who are usually elites and advocate bringing the world onder one centralized governing body.

Global Warming: A staged phenomenon used to garner support for climate engineering and global government.

GMO: (Genticallly modified organisms): A way that evil corporations such as Monsanto use the latest technology in molecular biology to poison our food and make a large profit via gene-splicing vegetable seedlings with harmful pesticides and herbicides and other harmful genetic modification.

Godlike Productions: An online forum that doesn't require a user name or password to post content and is a place were like minded truth promoters come together to discuss important topics.

Gold Standard: The only monetary system that should be in use. It is where a nation's money is directly linked to gold.

Google: A website that is loved and hated. Brings conspiracy blogs 99.9% of their traffic yet the company is often involved in unethical practices such as censoring material or participating in massive personal privacy rampage.

Guantanamo Bay: A prison were "terrorists" are tortured and undergo intense psychological experiments by U.S doctors.

Gun Control: The worst idea since Sega Dreamcast. An illuminati hatched plan to strip power away from innocent Americans who in the future may resist against totalitarian rule.

Hempseed Oil: A repressed cure for diseases by big pharma such as brain cancer.

The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP): A highly advanced and secretive weapon that manipulates the ionosphere causing weather changes and earth quakes.

Hilary Clinton: The most hated female west of the Nile. Notorious for her plethora of globalists ties and bad attitude.

Hollywood: A Jewish run multi-billion dollar propaganda machine designed to completely brainwash the populace.

Homeland Security: A department created in response to the 9/11 attacks charged with protecting the country from immigrants, terrorists, and disaster. Since than has grown in power and size and is a key player in the globalists agenda to enslave citizens.

Illuminiti: A highly secretive group of members possibly from another planet or with super human powers who are hellbent on torturing innocent people, creating a NWO, and confiscating freedoms and guns.

In-Q-Tel: A not for profit venture capital firm which invests on the CIA's behalf in beneficial companies such as Facebook.

Internal Revenue Service (IRS): The agency within the Treasury that is responsible for illegally collecting billions in taxes from citizens. The IRS gains it's power through fake laws and violating the constituion.

Internet: The most beneficial technological advancement in many years. A global system of interconnected computer networks that provide an area for free speech. The freedom of the Internet is contstantly under attack from globalists.

Jeff Rense: A conspiracy celebrity who currently owns and has his own radio show.

Jesuit: A high ranking religious order that has deep ties with the Vatican and Pope. (jesuits did it)

John F. Kennedy: One of the only good presidents ever to serve in office until he was assassinated in a CIA led hit for speaking the truth.

John Lennon: One of the most talented muscians of all time that was assassinated in a government hit because of his controversial message.


Justice System: The system of law in which people with influential connections are immune from prosecution while the poor and middle class get harsh criminal penalties for often victimless crimes like simple possession.

Lady Gaga: An illuminti puppet that's used to herd the sheeple into submission with her hypnotic voice and hidden symbolism.

Loose Change: The 9/11 documentary that got the ball rolling on reopening an investigation into the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. Riddled with errors but was the first well made flick.

Monsanto: A large agro-chemical corporation that produces genetically engineered crops seeds that harm farmers and citizens.

MSM: (Mainstream media): A powerful cartel of corporate run news networks that influence the public so heavily to the point of slavery through advanced psychological techniques through close communication and adapting a shared agenda which includes promoting patriotism and war. Examples of the MSM include FOX, MSNBC, CNN, WSJ, ABC, CBS, NBC, Washington Post, NY Times, and many others.

Mind Control: a transhumanist program to merge mind and computers at the cost of free will. (kwakakev)

Military-entertainment complex: When Hollywood and the Department of Defense collude to make movies that are pro U.S and inspire the sheeple into a patriotic mind-set.

Military-industrial complex: The arms industry that influences the country to engage in pertpetual warfare. Made famous by President Eisenhower.


Neo-conservative (neocon): Powerful old right wing men who believe in promoting American ideals abroad through the use of military force.

New World Order (N.W.O): The agenda of the super elites to establish a totalitarian one world government.

Occupy Wall Street (OWS): A global movement to protest corporate greed and the international banking cartel.

Organic: Food that does not contain GMO's or pesticides and is safe to eat.

Osama bin Laden: A CIA operative who died of kidney failure in early 2000 in an American hospital in Dubai. Used as a patsy for the 9/11 attacks. The CIA claimed that he was the leader of Al-queda.

The President of the United States: A puppet who is controlled by the elites and reads off a green screen to calm an anxious and dangerous public.


Puppet Master: A powerful elite who in complete secrecy controls the puppets such as celebrities and the U.S president.

Radio-frequency identification (RFID): A wireless chip the size of a piece of rice that can be injected into humans and used to monitor their every move.

Reptiallians: Highly superior aliens shape shifters from a distant planet that are currently on Earth in the form of humas such as George Bush. A large highly diversified social news website whose users include truthers, sheeple, egomaniacs, know it alls, protestors, philosophers, scientists, morans, and free thinkers. Acquired by Condé Nast Publications (a.k.a illuminati Nast Pulications)

Ron Paul: A celestial figure worthy of worship that will one day restore the world to sanity and destroy the evil forces that have corrupted this planet.

Shadow government: The powerful men and woman who work behind closed doors and effectively rule the people through fear and manipulation

Sheeple: A word to refer to the masses that believe anything on the MSM, buy iPhones, watch reality shows, talk like Paris Hilton, shop frequently, and engage in other similiar fluoridated behaviors. Ex: "Hey Susie, omg did you tape Jersey Shore?" "No unfortunately I was at the Drake concert with my Delta Gamma girls! Shooots!! Party Rock!"


Smart Phones: A clever way to trick the civilians into being tracked, monitored, and submitting to a cashless society.

Terror Watch List: A long list with possibly a million or more Americans that includes people who should be closely monitored and possibly rounded up during Martial Law.

Transportation Security Administration (TSA): Agency within the Department of Homeland security that is in charge of molesting, terrorizing, and full body scanning U.S citizens at the airport to screen for non-existant terrorists.

Unidentified Submerged Object (USO): a term used to describe the mysterious underwater phenomena observed by many. Basically a UFO that can go underwater.

Vaccine: A way the government poisons citizens with toxic materials for testing purposes and also in the future may inject secret tracking devices synced with satellites to track our every move.

United Nations (UN): The world governing body which is composed of high ranking globalists and elites.

Vitamin C: A powerful antioxidant that cures cancer, Lowers blood pressure, and improves the bodies immune system.

The War on Drugs: The cruelest human rights violation in the history of the world. A plan to incarcerate non violent drug users in the hundreds of thousands in corporate run prisons.

World Bank. The international banking cartel run financial powerhouse that gives out loans to developing countries in order to enslave the poor country and rape its resources.

Wikileaks: A mysterious website controlled by the U.S government claiming to be run by the people that leaks data in order to keep threats in check.

Youtube: The greatest website on the Internet which allows users to upload homemade videos. One downside is that the site is owned and operated by Google which is suspected to engage in New World Order activities.

Zeitgeist: The best documentary ever created which questions everything from the Bible to 9/11. A total mind fuck.

Zionist: A powerful movement that has extended it's tentacles deep within U.S politics and media campaigning a permanent Jewish homeland and policies that greatly benefits the Jewish people.


James Jerry - February 28, 2012 - posted at ITHP


Image - Greeblie


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Submitted by SadInAmerica on Wed, 04/25/2012 - 2:30pm.